Our work can absorb a great deal of our time, effort and attention but what happens when it becomes stressful and we go from feeling gently stretched to feeling totally overwhelmed?

One of my clients was in that situation recently. She had been brought into an organization to manage change and create better systems. However, she soon discovered that she was being asked to do the work of three people and her bosses didn’t seem to notice or care. Meanwhile, the team that she manages was also feeling the pressure and she was terrified of dropping any balls because their clients were people in great need.

Her situation isn’t unique. Many of us, at sometime or other, will find ourselves facing stressful situations at work. So, what can we do if and when it happens? Here are some suggestions I gave my client in case they are of benefit to you too.

1. Pray and seek support

Firstly, take the situation to God. I Peter 5:7 reminds us to “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” It can help to pray for a clear perspective on the situation and for wisdom as to how to act.

It can also help to have trusted people with whom you can ask for prayer and support as you go through any tricky situation. Choose people who are not directly involved and who you can trust.

If your work place has an HR department – it might be worth speaking to them, especially if you are unable to resolve the issue with your superiors.

2. Voice your expectations and get agreements
Many of us believe that our bosses or those managing us should know all about the pressures and situations we face on a daily basis. We hope that they are looking out for us and watching our backs. We presume they will let us know if we are doing a super-human amount of work and will put a stop to it. We hope that they are noticing all the great effort we are putting in.

Unfortunately, the problem is that managers are often busy people themselves with their own workload and stresses to look after. If we are just getting on with our work and not saying anything, then the chances are that they will presume that we are okay. How will they know any different? If we collapse in a heap they might get the hint but wouldn’t it be better if we could just tell them before that happened?

We need to voice our expectations and let those we work with know what we need and what we are experiencing. If we are facing a tricky or difficult situation, it helps if we can hear our manager’s views on what they expect from us. Also, for us to express to them what we feel we can or can’t deliver, given the time and resources that we have available to us.

Once both of you have voiced these expectations it is worth coming to an agreement together as to the way forward. It is a good idea to get this in writing. That way, you can both return to it to review how you are doing and to renegotiate if necessary.

Whatever you do, don’t suffer in silence. No one knows what you can or can’t cope with unless you let them know.

3. Realize that you can only do your best
You are not super-human and therefore there is only so much that you can do in the time and with the resources that you have been given. You can only do your best, no more. If you feel you are putting people or projects at risk because you are being over-stretched then it is important to speak up. It might be worth asking your superior how they would like you to proceed given the limitations. Perhaps make helpful suggestions based on what you see as the priorities and then ask them if they agree with those. If they don’t, then you will need to ascertain what they want you to focus on and what needs to happen to the rest of your workload if you haven’t enough time, finance or staff to make it happen.

4. Lead by example
If you work every hour you have been given, never say ‘no’ or don’t admit when the workload is too much, then this will be the message that you broadcast loud and clear to the staff under you.

If you want to lead authentically, then model what you want to see in your team. If you wish your bosses asked your opinion about how to solve the problem, then be the kind of boss that asks that of your team.

If you want a better work-life balance because you feel you would be more productive and effective that way, then make sure that your team is not overworked. If you wish you were appreciated more, then make sure that your team know how they are doing and what you appreciate in them. If you want to be authentic, then admit to them when you are struggling and allow them to speak up too. If you need your team to go the extra mile, then go the extra mile with them but try not to make it a habit for any of your sakes.

5. Share the load
I know when I get stressed my temptation is to start doing everything myself. I worry that delegating will just make things harder because I will need to explain everything to someone else and then after all that, they might not do the job 100 per cent right. That isn’t a great approach and isn’t one I would recommend.

Unless we work solo, we have been put in a team for a reason. We are there to pull together and to help each other and there will be people on the team who have different skills or just more time on their hands. Make use of them! It is worth delegating what you can and trust people with as much as you can. Most people love to be included and feel useful.

Use the language of ‘we’ and the team are more likely to want to pull together. If your staff think that you believe they can rise to the challenge and do the job at hand, then they are much more likely to perform well for you. Who could you trust with more this week? What would they need from you in order to do that job well (which might not necessarily mean exactly like you)?

6. Look after yourself
We can’t work well or effectively if we are over-tired, hungry, over-whelmed or completely out of our depth. We can only keep going so long with adrenaline and cortisol pumping through us but at some stage if we don’t start looking after ourselves, we will collapse.

It is important to make sure that you have enough time to sleep properly and to switch off from work. It is very hard to think with clarity when we are not functioning in a healthy way. Are you having fun in your life? What are you doing to relax or recharge? Are you taking a day of rest every week?

When you travel on a plane the safety instructions tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping a child. It is the same at work. If you want to be effective to your staff, clients and patients, then you must make sure that you look after yourself first, otherwise you won’t be able to look after them. It starts with you.

It is also worth asking yourself, what needs to change for you to be happy with your job? And also how bad does it need to get before you quit? Get clear on what you need and how much you can take. Only you can know where your limit is and when it has been reached.

-Sarah Abell